So I’m just going to throw it out there. Socially awkward people make me laugh. So hard.
Sometimes, I am one of them… Or maybe all the time. I’m just in denial.
I remember the day I met my (now) husband. We went to Red Robin with a group of people. I only knew ONE person there, my friend Patricia. The guy (my husband) sitting across from me was pretty cute! I wanted to say something funny, but had to wait for the perfect moment! Our dinner was almost over and I felt caught in desperation to make a good impression. At the other end of the table (not part of the conversation or knowing what they were talking about) I heard someone say “Oh I know! I Hate that!” So I shouted to the end of the table “You wanna know what I hate?! When guys think it is attractive to look like Jesus!”
Yup. Nailed it. That was EXACTLY what I had in mind for my first impression on this cute guy! (Face-palm)
Every one looked at me like I just said “My chocolate cat tastes like butterflies” I may as well have. because after they stared at me for a few moments, they all ignored me and went about their conversation.
Well, I married that cute guy that sat across from me on that awkward night. So several things could have been the motivation behind him contacting me for a date.
1. He actually thought my disregard to social etiquette was funny.
2. He’s secretly attracted to weirdos.
3. He’s deaf.
I still have not figured out which one (if any) was his motivation to ask me out. But whatever I did, it worked.
I’ve learned some things about myself that has helped me over come this awkward trait (Or so I think) and help avoid those moments. Maybe it might help for you. Let’s give it a shot!
1. Think before you talk. That is a novel idea that is hard for me and my fellow weirdos to grasp. I still haven’t mastered it completely but I have learned to bite my tongue a little and pick up on ques that say “No, that would be inappropriate”. Rule of thumb: When in doubt, don’t say it.
2. Learn more about your self. If you put your self in settings that you don’t feel comfortable, you are destined to say something stupid. For example: Hipsters with high IQ’s make me so nervous. You know those people that have incredible vintage fashion and are fascinated by science, art and indie-rock? Ya, they make me nervous. I’m always afraid I will look stupid. 100% of the time I speak without invitation or blurt out something ridiculous. I learned that even though smart, hip people are GREAT people (and I’d secretly like to be one) I don’t socialize well with them because I am out of my comfort zone. I don’t have anything in common with them. I’m just not hip. Which I’m certain my kids will be quick to remind me that when they are older.
3. Be comfortable with who you are. I’m now to the point that I don’t care what people think of me. I like who I am, if others don’t like it, they don’t have to be around me. This type of attitude either attracts people or turns them away. But I’m not going to change who I am to impress people I don’t know (or like).
4. Learn to laugh at your self! Socially awkward is not a bad thing! It’s the awkward people that make funny stories. That night I met my husband would not have been nearly as memorable if I would have kept my mouth shut. I can look back at that day and laugh hysterically at my lack of social etiquette.
5, Be true to who you are! I just want you to know that it is ok to be you! Don’t try to be some one that you are not… because that’s not YOU! This world would be such a boring place if no one shouted out something ridiculous every now and then. Have personality and BE PROUD OF IT! Learn who you are, learn your likes and dislikes. Then EMBRACE it!
Questions to think about.
1. In what environments do you feel out of your comfort zone?
2. After you shout out something with out thinking, do people give you a blank stare? Are you able to laugh that moment off or do you sit and stew on it for years?
3. Do you try to conform to meet what you feel is the expectation of others?
Make a goal.
I’m notorious for speaking out of context. What makes it worse, I don’t think before I say it. This week I’m going to try to really think before I talk. What goals can you work on? Do you need to dig deep within to learn who you really are? Or maybe you just need to learn to laugh at yourself. What ever your goal is, do not change who you are. Because who you are is beautiful.
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you” – Dr Seuss.
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